Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
