Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My vagina is officially offended.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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