What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
