I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
