You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
