WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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