walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
