that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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