I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
