My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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