he wants to bone in the snuggie
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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