i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
