he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
