perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Text me some of your sweat
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
