worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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