You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
