How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
