There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
