you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
