Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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