im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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