she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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