She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
