honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
