TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
