ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
