Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is wine microwaveable?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can you bring me the toilet please
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
