Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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