so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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