That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
