So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
