just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
