Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
