she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We have started to decorate penises.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
