Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
