There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
should my penis look like a turkey
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
