I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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