You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
