I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
