If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
