Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
