What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We don't watch enough power rangers
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
