its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
