Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
