It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
