we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my being single is dangerous.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
