tell your sister to shave her snatch
so let's talk penis.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
