I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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