You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
