i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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