What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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