she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
