Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
