your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
